![]() ![]() ![]() They see their job as helping you find your own answers, and they know that silence can help you do that. Most therapists genuinely believe they don’t have the answers to the questions or challenges you face-however, they believe you do. They believe you’ll get to deeper, more interesting places if you find your way there yourself (and they probably don’t know how to get there without you anyway).They want you to start trusting yourself and your own intuition instead of looking to them for answers-answers they may not have anyway.They want you to sit with an emotion that just came up and feel it deeply instead of trying to push it away or bury it under more talking.They are still processing what you just shared and want to make sure their response is helpful instead of harmful.They want to reflect on something that just came up so they can see what they really think about it.They want you to reflect on something that just came up so you can see what you really think about it.They want to honor an insight or moment of clarity you just had and let it resonate.They want to make sure that they’re not cutting in before you finish your thought.They don’t want to unintentionally influence your thoughts, feelings, or ideas.They don’t want to disrupt an important moment or emotional process.They want to make sure that you can see and hear yourself clearly.They are listening carefully and want to make sure you feel heard.They want you to tap into your own wisdom and inner resources.They want you to set the tone, pace, and topic for the session.When your therapist is silent, it might mean any of the following things: Not all silences in therapy serve the same purpose. They won’t be waiting to jump in with their opinion or to tell you how their experience was different. Unlike anyone else you know, a therapist won’t expect a turn. While you can have an authentic and deeply meaningful relationship with your therapist, their goal isn’t for you to get to know them, but to help you get to know yourself better. Therapy is about you and your relationship with yourself. ![]() On the other hand, the goals of talking to your therapist include: To make you or someone else feel better.The goals of everyday conversation include: One of the reasons therapy can feel awkward at first is that, while it does consist of talking to someone, you talk to a therapist for different reasons than you talk to anyone else. ![]()
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